Saturday, December 4, 2010

My Spirituality Zone

I’m a Christian. I believe in God.

But, i barely go to the church. And yeah, i’m gonna fix this habit. Besides, sometimes i think that go to the church doesnt mean that u are just better than others who dont. And this is true. Our daily habit, like attitude, words, are just more describing our spirituality to God. How often you are cursing? How often are you doing a bad thing? How evil are you?

I do believe that every single people has their own beliefs. Despite the fact that they choose to go to the church every week or not. We have to respect their decision. I have a friend who always gives me encouraging words everyday, and he gives a service in his church. I said this is good, because he gives me a good effect. I just become more positive. You know what, you need to choose where to put yourself into, because your environment matters so much to your self.

For me, though I dont go to the church weekly, I keep believing that God is exist. That He’s with me everytime, watching me and protecting me. And, I do believe that He will come to the earth for the 2nd time and take us the children of God. I wanna be one of them, really. I dont want to be left behind on earth.  My scareness level is quite high for this thing. Does it require me to go to the church every week??

Well, but sometimes I have my doubt too. I’m questioning God why I kept failing on my interview, for example. It was 4 times!! But i’m faithful that  God has a perfect plan for me, and that I need to wait for His perfect timing. Maybe that was my own mistake, I wasnt ready enough for it. But God must have involved on that too right? I feel bad, because I always kept asking and asking but I did nothing to worship Him. Maybe that’s why I didnt get what I want. Arghhh.. This is insane, like talking to 2 different sides in myself.

But have you ever heard the sentence, that He gives us what we need, not what we want.

I really want to give some service to God, but I just havent got the call yet. And I dont find a perfect church that is comfortable for me. I remember when I was a child, I gave Him a service, praise and worship dances. And believe me i’ve ever being a worship leader on teenage service. Hahaha!! I was really enjoying all those service things, though it meant that i had to go to the church 5 times in a week. You know, praying every week. Fellowship with all people who also gave the service once a month. And when i gave service at the 1st schedule, i had to standby in church from 6 am. Awesome, huh? But i did enjoy it!! And i really miss that time :)

I’m trying my best to get into that track again, though it’s pretty hard. Too many temptations to stay away from Him. Lucky i have some friends that keep supporting me to keep faith on Jesus :)

God bless y’all!!




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