Two Hearts (Part 1)

I cant believe that it will hurt me. Till i cry like this. It started with some coincidences, or not maybe? That he already chose me from the first time he saw me. That’s what he said. And finally i came to him. But I already promise to myself that i’ll never asking or complaining about his girl. Yeah, i will think that he’s single. Done. But since we started a conversation about that thing yesterday, now i cant stop thinking about it.

And i did hurt. Thinking what will he do with the girl for the following days. I’m jealous. Danggg! He must be forget about me. I know I’m not supposed to feel too deep with a guy like him. But it happened already. Now what? Can i rewind the time? Back to last night? I should clear everything last nite. It should be a goodbye..

I was just thinking that he’s probably forgetting me, but then his name appeared on my phone. I was like, surprise!! Oyeah, he’s in front of my home now, across the street, with his girl inside the car. What a lovely condition eh?! Are u INSANE??!! And i feel a ‘gadogado’ feeling rite now.. I feel happy cause the fact that he remembers me, but i feel sorry to his girl, and i feel hurt also. Haha.. This is so funny.. How could i do this?!

God, if only i could rewind the time.. Back to last night. I definitely would tell him to be good, stick with his girl. Dont look to any other girls again. Since he had the thought to marry with this girl. And he told me that someday i will find a good guy for me. Which is definitely NOT HIM. What do i expect anymore?? See, it’s full of questioning..

Do u think i’m stupid? Cos i know i am. It’s me who will get hurt at the end, becos i know everything. The girl wont hurt if she knows nothing. So the point is i’m stupid, i hurt the girl undirectly, but i also get hurt. Hahaha… But why i still do this?

It’s wrong from the first time. I know that i will loose at the end. It’s even better not to start it. How to end it??

The Journey of Thesis (Part 7)

Hahahhaa… after making so many excuses to do my thesis.. yaitu KKN, KKN, dan KKN.. yah emank kmaren2 sempet sibuk banget sih, ga tidur gara2 ngerjain laporan KKN sialan. i did courage myself to meet my lecturer again..hohoho.. i was afraid by the way.. Takut kalo beliau judes ato marah.. hehe, walaupun dipikir2 juga ga mungkin kan..

Kemaren begitu ketemu sempet dijudesin dulu.. hehe.. Lalu mulai lah rayuan maut dan curcol2 laennya.. Jujur aja, saya takut ketemu bu yanti.. Takut dimarahin.. gara2 ga bimbingan.. hehehe.. Eh, si ibu malah bilang, “ya kalo kamu lebih lama ga bimbingan malah tambah saya marahin!” hihihii.. Iya2 buu.. So everything went perfectly.. yayy! :D glad to met her.. really!! no more fears to meet her :)

Ngomong2 soal KKN, akhirnya sabtu kemaren udah ujian.. Sempet eyel2an juga sm si SHD itu.. grrrr,,kesel banget deh sama dosen yg ga mau dibantah.. fakk! udah ngerasa plg bener gitu pak? masi harus revisi laporan lagii.. grrrr… And i wont do the revision! No way!! BIG NO! gila aja, mati2an usaha dan ga tidur demi laporan.. sementara mayoritas yg laen santai2 dan enak2 tidur tanpa bikin laporannya. PEDULI AJA NGGA DONKS.. helooo? itu laporan kalian juga kan?!?! ceritanya sih sebagai anak muda dgn idealisme tinggi,,hahaha.. dan rasa ga tega kalo ga bikin laporan. tapi gila yah, kalo sampe nilai kita sama.. pengen banget NYORET itu nama2 GA BERGUNA dari laporan!! =( so sorry, emosi selalu naek kalo ngomongin hal ini.. hfuhh!!

Enough! It’s time to focus on my thesis.. Masih berharap bisa wisuda bulan July, tapi pesimis juga. Krn setelah kmaren share sm harris, tyt kalo mau wisuda july, max daftar ujian tgl 15 juni..huaaaa!! Padahal ni masi ngubrek2 dataa… nangissss >,< knapa juga aku pilih topik yg susah2 yah?? hedeh2.. Sudah lah, stop complaining!! Do the best n let God do the rest :)

 

XOXO,

S

Hair :’(

I miss my long hair.. Dun care whether it’s straight or curly.. black or colored.. It’s just LONG =’(

 

xoxo, S

LOVE letter

I’m in love.. Am I? hahaha.. I aint sure.. But i hope it’s wrong. I guess it’s not love. Not a real love i want. And I also dont wanna have this feeling for that guy. I want the right one. Well, let’s forget it.

I wanna share a very touchy Indonesian blog. I just read it because it came on my twitter timeline. And then i kept searching about everything related to it. So here it is, Dinda Nawangwulan’s blog. She writes love letter to her husband everyday. Her husband, Alexander Abimanyu, one of the founder of IndonesiaUnite, was already passed away on March 2010. I dont even know them, but i can feel their deep relationship. I’m looking for some articles. I found that they have different religion, but they go for it. Even her husband still marry her though she has two cancers. Amazing, isnt it? :) I cried a little. I found that the husband was completely take her unconditionally. And he taught a lot about life, he made the wife got closer to Allah, eventhough they are different. Awesome lesson comes from this simple blog. About LOVE.

Talking about differences, i give my best prayer to my sist and her bf. I hope they can go for it and through it also. Dont forget to take me to HK or wherever the place when u’re ready to get married..haha ;)

Remember my previous post on Miss Mellow, lots of my girls ended up her relationship. Okay, but one was got back. Yeah,  they’re on again. I’m speechless. What spell does the guy use? I cant see the right things on their relationship. And the very important thing is he gives a bad influence to her. Now what?

*sigh* anyway, these pimples are bothering me!! :(

 

XOXO,

S

May

May this May brings some encourages and new spirit for me. I really really need it. I need to focus, move and take some actions!! Fight Oh Sue!! :)

 

Ps : i must admit that today is fuckin hot! arghh, i hate the weather :(