My Jesus is Awesome!

Been long time since my last post. I really miss blogging! Geez, I have much things to tell but I have no time! I have no internet! Well, I just really busy with work. But I do enjoy it here. :)
It's so great to be placed at Taman Duta Mas, I love the office atmosphere, I love my colleagues, their reception for me, I feel really blessed. Except one thing : my place. The room is super tiny! 2x3 meters and I can barely move! Hahaha.. It's been 3 months already since I was here, time flies real fast! Really! And the time is finally come for my final assessment, it's gonna be on July 5th, 2012. Please put my name on your prayers guys.. Thanks!:)
About my last post, it's still the same. I have nothing to expect, but deep down I'm not over him yet. Insane. :') And he'll back home this July. Haha! I'm just really curious with the inside of his brain, his thoughts. Nothing to lose, nothing to expect more.
Now, what's about my title?? YESSS, my Jesus is awesome! I don't know what he did to me, His love for me is unbeatable, and I can't thank Him enough. :') At 2007, I was diagnosed with Hyperthyroid, even though I didn't feel the sign, I looked super healthy. I bet my friends didn't know about that too! I didn't lose my weight, my eyes looked fine, my hands weren't shaking. I was perfectly fine! I took the medicine for about 3 months and didn't finish it. I just didn't feel that I'm sick, so I act like nothing happened to me and it continued until today. About last month I took that thyroid test again, and guess what? I'm healthy! The result is good and everything is normal. I'm so grateful, blessed, I believe it's my faith and He sees that everytime. I just wanna say thank You, Jesus.. What more can I say?:') He's the healer, my Saviour.

♫"I've seen dreams that move the mountain, hope that doesn't ever end even when the sky is falling. I've seen miracle just happen, silent prayers get answered, broken heart become brand new. That's what faith can do."♫
Regards,
Susan

Faithfully

It's been almost 2 months since my last post and I still feel the same about you.

Day by day, month by month, you're still the same. So does my feeling, it doesn't change even a bit.

I still want you.

If only you knew...

не на один день я живу, не скучая по тебe...






Regards,
Susan

DOs & DON'Ts on Friends With Benefits

1.DO Be Honest with Yourself

Before you begin any FWB shenanigans, you need to be aware that this is not a typical (and sometimes not a particularly healthy) sort of relationship. Make sure you are ready for it. Even for those of us who are far from clingy and even prone to scandalous behavior, a FWB situation can be difficult to master. Feelings often get involved, even when you don't mean for them to.

That's why, before starting anything of the sort, you need to be upfront with yourself about your expectations and your limits. Do you really think you can do this without getting hurt? Will you be okay if and when your FWB strays or finds someone they want an actual relationship with?

2.DON'T Get in Bed with Just Anyone

If you feel that you are at a point where a Friends with Benefits situation is ideal and an actual, healthy relationship isn't feasible, then you need to scope out a partner. Maybe you already have someone in mind or who you've already begun a FWB relationship with. If not, finding the right person for a FWB situation can be tricky, and it will take some time -- generally, someone isn't going to hop into bed with you on a weekly or more-than-weekly basis right off the bat, and some people will never be down for the idea ever. But if you are on the prowl, some general rules:

DON'T start a FWB relationship with someone you are already good friends with. In all likelihood, this will ruin your friendship; and things will never be the same. 
DO find someone who is close in age to you and is in the same place in their life. Going for cougars or robbing the cradle might be ok for a real relationship or a one-night stand; but for a consistent FWB deal, it will only cause problems. 
DO find someone you actually like being around. You don't have to adore this person, and you probably shouldn't, but you will be spending a couple nights a week together, so go for someone you can tolerate. 
Obviously, DO find someone you are physically attracted to, as a sexual spark is the entire point of being FWB.

3. DO Be Clear with Each Other

For this to work, you both have to be on the same page. One person can't want more than the other. Talk about what you want this relationship to consist of, and define the situation. If you both understand what this is and agree to keep each other posted on any feelings that develop, this will be a much more enjoyable experience. 

4.DON'T See Each Other Every Day

Being FWB requires a delicate balance. While the two of you are friends, you should try to keep some distance as to avoid getting attached. Don't sleep over every night, and don't start bringing your FWB as your date to parties or friend/family outings. Set some boundaries and limit yourselves. If this becomes difficult for you, consider re-evaluating the relationship, as the two of you may not be suitable for a FWB situation.

5.DON'T Linger

Consistent lingering can complicate things with your FWB. Yes, you are friends; but that doesn't mean you should be sticking around until lunch time on Saturday or parking yourself on the sofa to watch the Today Show before he/she wakes up for work. This begins to feel relationship-y and can be fuel for a fiery end to FWB when your partner gets fed up.

If that train has already left the station, it's not too late to scale things back. It's ok to grab a quick breakfast occasionally or take the subway downtown to your offices together in the AM; but typically when you wake up, try say your goodbyes in a timely manner.

6.DON'T Share Too Much

In the same vein as not seeing each other too often and not overstaying your welcome, be careful not to be too open with each other. There's a difference between friends and boyfriend-girlfriend, and much of that difference has to do with how much you confide in each other.

Keep secrets and most personal details about family, faith and friends to yourself. Avoid the use of "we" or any talk of you two in the future (unless you're talking about changes that need to be made or ending things). You don't have to restrict yourself to small talk, but be guarded.

7.DO Remember You are Friends

With all of these attempts to reduce attachment, the line between "Friend with Benefits" and "booty call" can sometimes become blurred.

While you don't want to invest too much in the relationship, remember that this person is not simply a free piece of meat to be used and abused. The two of you have an understanding, so you don't have the right to kick this person out of your bed before 5 a.m. or call them over after having just slept with someone else. Show some respect. It's a trade off, and sex is not the only commodity. While you may still be on the market, the two of you are friends, after all, and human beings. 

8.DO Be Safe

Safe sex is important in any intimate relationship, not just FWB. Always use a condom with your partner and with anyone else you may sleep with. Be considerate of your FWB's health and protect yourself, as well. Getting a regular STD test and keeping your partner (and all sexual partners) in the loop is essential. If you sleep with someone else or think you may have contracted an STD, let your FWB know immediately. 

9.DO Keep It Short

Friends with Benefits is not meant to last more than a few months. The idea is to meet your physical needs while maintaining a friendship in between legitimate romantic relationships. If things start to drag on, you need to take the initiative and bring it to a close. If you find yourself in one FWB relationship after another, you might need to take a look at what you truly want romantically and why you aren't getting it. 

10.DON'T Be Surprised When Feelings Get Involved

Sometimes FWB works out for both parties, but it often doesn't. You should go into this situation knowing what you want, what you don't want and having open communication about what you two are doing at all times. Do your best to keep emotional distance and avoid activities or patterns that will foster attachment.

Even when you make your best effort, one person is probably going to develop feelings; and things may get complicated. FWB is not a typical relationship type; and it's not meant to be a sustainable lifestyle. Be aware of what you are really getting yourself into. 

Be wise with your choices, people!!;)

xoxo

If Only…

I’m in trouble. Like in a real deep trouble. I cant erase the lil’ memories I had with you. Everytime I go to the place we had visited together, everything becomes like dejavu. And it hurts me actually.. I mean, why?

What hurts me is the fact that I couldn’t leave you, at least for now, even after all things that happened before. Broken promises, unsaid words. Why me? I never really opened up to anyone since my last breakup, and now after every commitments between us, you’re just gone. Leaving me, breathless.

What made us grow apart?

With all of my inconsistences, I still think that if you asked me to stay beside you, I might change my mind and let you in my life forever. I don’t care about now, I don’t care that you’re away or ignoring me or I have to wait for you, everything is so worth it just so I can hold you in my arms again.

yes, I told you that I cant be with someone who makes me brokenhearted, but what can I do when my heart told me to survive? heart and brain just really cant work together. haha.

you know I’ll support you no matter how your condition is, just like you take the whole me as I am. you know I really appreciate it.

last quote I wrote on my xmas card, that you might never see. -I wondered whether good things really do happen to me, because after you were given to me, we have to be opposite ends of the earth. now I know that they do happen, because being with you, for just one second, is the best thing that I have ever been blessed with.-

haha, another sweet words from me. once again, I’m such a romantic woman, right?:)) well, I don’t know what will happen next, but I do have a faith that we’re gonna through this.:)

keep praying.

good night, you.

I love you.

I’m Outward Bound!!

Hey, I’m back from OBI!! it’s one of my BDP’s program too, just like the earlier jungle survival. This time, I went to Waduk Jatiluhur for 4 days new adventure! I basically love the activity, except it made my face sunburned. My nose, hand, and feet, they are scary!! Red all over my face! huaaaa!! I don’t want to go out from my room now. Thank God I have cable TV on my kost now.. Hoho..

OBI is Outward Bound Indonesia, a member of Outward Bound international, an organisation for self-development, leadership and something like that. You know, experential learning from outbound activity. I love the tagline : TO SERVE, TO STRIVE AND NOT TO YIELD. :)

So, we went on Feb 14th, where we’re supposed to celebrate Valentine’s Day, though I didn’t have someone to celebrate with. lol. First day after we arrived at the OBI’s camp, we were divided into 2 teams, Alpha and Bravo and I joined the Bravo team with other 10 people, and Zaki as my instructor. We had 3 guys and big women in our team. Cewe2 kelas berat hampir masuk ke Bravo smua! haha.. Fyi, we managed our bag with clothes and other things in one bagpack! You know, that super big backpack that has half of my height. haha.. except our clothes, we put the sleeping tent, raincoat, stove, and other camp things inside, and it was really really heavy! haha.. Buat pemanasannya, kita main game2 kecil ttg keseimbangan, teamwork, sama yg jatuhin badan ke belakang trus ditahan sm orang 1 team itu. Abis itu kita nyebrang ke pulau lain buat high rope activity. It’s pretty same with another highrope, except it was our friends who hold us with the rope, so they become responsible for our life. haha. Ada 1 bagian yg beda banget!! jd kita suruh jatuhin diri ke 1 tali gitu posisi tengkurep trs ngesot disitu nyebrang ke pohon laen. huaaaa… scary but fun! sedikit kepleset di bagian ban abis tangan udah berat banget udah gitu mau berdiriin badan berat banget lg.. hoahahaha.. But I finished it anyway, awesome! Rasanya udah beda dr highrope terakhir yg di Magelang itu, less afraid here, as I see everyone could do it too, so did I! :) Selesai highrope, team bravo pindah ke pulau lain, we built our tent right before the storm coming.

Yang beda di OBI, disini ga ada mata air atau wc, jd ya mau pee or pup kudu dimana aja, gali2 pake sekop. LOL. Untung selama disana gak ‘bernyanyi’!! :)) Beside, we cooked our own breakfast and dinner. Built our own tent. Everything by ourselves, termasuk narik2 cano yg berat itu. Haha..

Day 2. and 3 practically. CANO! all day CANO! Paired up with Lily, lumayan lah ada yg kelebihan tenaga. Hahaha.. Sebelom bercano sih ada acara latihan ngedayung, sm latian capsize aka jatuh ke air. Gimana cara nolong temen yg jatuh ke air juga. Pertama sih kano yg kebalik itu hrs kita tarik ke cano kita, trus dibalik di atas cano kita, baru orang2 yg jatuh naik ke cano mereka. Dan narik cano nya itu sangat2 berat, plus mau naikin bokong ke cano juga berat. Haha.. Intinya sih 2 hari itu cano dari pulau ke pulau, cari bendera, dan kita cuma dikasih peta waduk, clue koordinat, sama kompas. trus tar ukur2 koordinat sendiri. Kalo nyasar ya wassalam, untungnya sih ada perahu bargas tukang bawa makanan.. hahaha.. Pas hari pertama itu pas panas2nya, ngedayung sambil ngos2an banget.. Menjelang sore tenaga udah abis ditambah angin kenceng dan ujan rintik2 sebentar. Lengkap lah sudah penyiksaan itu. Thank God we arrived in the afternoon, menjelang gelap. Abis itu langsung ujan deras lagi! Malem pertama badan berasa sakit semua. Mau gerak aja sakit semuaaaa.. Tapi abis cano hari kedua udah ga sakit. Bener kata instrukturnya, obat pegel2 ya cano-ing lagi. Hehe.. Malem ketiga itu kita ada solo night, ceritanya disebar di hutan sendiri2, bangun tenda dr ponco, trus disuruh tidur, eh refleksi diri denk. Haha.. Not afraid of ghost, but I was afraid of the animals! Jadi mau tidur ga bisa2 gara2 kaki gatel2, pdhl ya udah pake kaos kaki loh. keterlaluan.. Selain banyak nyamuk, aku menemukan semut, laba2 besar di atas kepalaku persis, dan kaki seribu di dlm kain baliku! Pas banget mau ganti celana pas aku bangun trus cek tas, eh tu laba2 udah nemplok di tas. Horor. Untung blom sempet ngerembet2 ke mukaaaa… Kalo kaki seribu ditemukan setelah aku berasa digigit something yg cekit2 banget, trus lgsng periksa2 dan tyt tu kaki seribu ada di kain baliku.. Bener2 luar biasa.. Alhasil sekarang ni kulit ada bintil2 merah dan sedikit gatel2. –____– Anyway harusnya kan dibangunin lagi jam setengah 4 pagi pake peluit dari si akang, tapi entah mengapa sebelom itu kita udah denger2 peluit, dan ternyata itu baru jam setengah 1 aja. Untungnya sih kita ga disuruh balik ke dalem, abis semua ponco udah dibongkarin! gile aje suruh bangun lagi.. akhirnya cuma disebar lagi di depan, tapi tidur tanpa tenda. Hahaha..

Last day. Bikin rakit dari bambu + drum plastik. Hohoho.. Another fun thing to do! I loved this part and we were going through! Rakitnya ga tenggelam plus we reached the finish line just in time. Awesome :) I love my team!

Well as I can say, OBI is way more fun than jungle. Disana berasa capeknya sih, tapi begitu pulang biasa aja. Masih berasa lebih capek jungle. Yang nggak banget ya cuma satu, efek sunburn in my face. Yeah, you better hide your skin with everything! you don’t wanna be this red tomato..T____T

Thanks to my instructor, Zaki, for his help and protection during our OBI time. Akang2 Sunda yg logatnya masih super sunda, tapi bacaannya berat2. Haha.. So funny that he confused when we said bossy and moody. LOL. But he’s good, I mean to motivate us and his quotes, his positivity. Thank you.

What I get from OBI? That we can do all we want when we believe we can. We can break our limit, outward the boundaries, I think that’s the point. Also, keep yourself positive, say positive words, show some positive spirits, it helps everytime! One thing again, never ever stop show your gratitude to God, because He’s been real good to me during OBI time. Waktu hujan rintik2 di tengah danau plus angin kenceng itu, I prayed to God to stop it, and it stopped. Hari kedua cuaca bagus banget, sinar matahari ga langsung nyengat. Pas solo night yg awal ga hujan, hujan cuma rintik2 trus baru bener2 ujan pas kita smua udah ngumpul di tenda bareng2. Dan hari terakhir itu, badai plus kilat dateng pas kita udah pembubaran. Ga ngebayangin kalo kita masih cano-ing. Ah, thank you God for every little thing. So you know, my God is so great. :)

If your organisation want to join this program, don’t hesitate to open their website : www.outwardboundindo.org

 

xoxo,