If Only…

I’m in trouble. Like in a real deep trouble. I cant erase the lil’ memories I had with you. Everytime I go to the place we had visited together, everything becomes like dejavu. And it hurts me actually.. I mean, why?

What hurts me is the fact that I couldn’t leave you, at least for now, even after all things that happened before. Broken promises, unsaid words. Why me? I never really opened up to anyone since my last breakup, and now after every commitments between us, you’re just gone. Leaving me, breathless.

What made us grow apart?

With all of my inconsistences, I still think that if you asked me to stay beside you, I might change my mind and let you in my life forever. I don’t care about now, I don’t care that you’re away or ignoring me or I have to wait for you, everything is so worth it just so I can hold you in my arms again.

yes, I told you that I cant be with someone who makes me brokenhearted, but what can I do when my heart told me to survive? heart and brain just really cant work together. haha.

you know I’ll support you no matter how your condition is, just like you take the whole me as I am. you know I really appreciate it.

last quote I wrote on my xmas card, that you might never see. -I wondered whether good things really do happen to me, because after you were given to me, we have to be opposite ends of the earth. now I know that they do happen, because being with you, for just one second, is the best thing that I have ever been blessed with.-

haha, another sweet words from me. once again, I’m such a romantic woman, right?:)) well, I don’t know what will happen next, but I do have a faith that we’re gonna through this.:)

keep praying.

good night, you.

I love you.